Love and D/s

Does love have a place in D/s .. yes I think love is a core part of good effective D/s...without love there is less emotion of any kind and it radically heightens the sensation and intensity of emotions

I don't know if anyone will agree with what I'm about to say but for me ..D/s without the love i find is a very selfish act ....I don't care what the Dom feels I'm not doing it to make him feel better or to make him happy...I'm doing it for me...to feed my craving, my needs ...its cold ...

When there is love involved then there is more ....i want to please him...I want to give him everything ...I want to make him happy ...I want to give myself to him ...I will do things that I'm unsure of or am a little afraid of because I desperately want to submit to this man who I love and when I feel that love returned from him ..then my limits go out of the window because I feel safe in the knowledge that he loves me and wouldn't do anything that would cause me harm ...

There seems to be a feeling by some, that "love" lessens Dominance. That tenderness equates somehow with a lessened sense of "Mastery". Rubbish. Dominance and submission are emotional states, constantly in flux within a relationship.

They may be aided by physical play such as S/M or B&D. But you need never lift a hand to be Dominant. you are Dominant and always will be, whether you take flogger to a sub or not. And you need never take a spanking or be tied to be submissive. Taking a caning or being used by them for their pleasure is not what makes you a submissive.

their Dominance comes from the heart. Just as love does. Do not confuse tenderness with weakness, and strictness with Dominance. they can be as soft and tender and loving as a teddy bear and they will still Dominate you

so many think that there cannot be love in D/s ...i feel sorry for those people it must be a cold world they live in...

Many settle for vanilla relationships thinking that that is the only way you can be loved ...I've witnessed many a cold vanilla relationship..yet very few cold D/s ..

Many of the old school Dom/mes if asked if love was possible would possibly have said no ...the reasoning behind this is that nothing should be able to blur the lines of authority...many see a sub as property and should be treated as such...that the sub falls in love and adores the Dom is to be expected ...they feel a Dominant in love would let transgressions go and not punish which would lead to a confused sub.. she will forget that he or she is actually property and not the love interest..


I believe that it is a natural progression to love each other when everything is shared as completely as it is in a D/s relationship. Neither party can help but to become more intimate
with each other as time goes by.

Each party is providing the other's needs and wants and when someone completely understands you and lives to please your every whim, it is very difficult not to fall in love.

There are very few people who "get" the sub mentality and to find someone who knows exactly how to treat you is special.

The same could be said from the Dom's point of view too, although these feelings do not bleed through as quickly as the subs feelings. The dominant personality has a way of hiding feelings much better than the submissive personality.

i found this next paragraph on a very interesting site about love and D/s ...i thought you might like to read it ...

My Master loves me passionately. I know this because He tells me this every day. He does not falter when it comes to punishing me for a transgression. He does not falter from using me in whatever way He prefers, even when He knows it probably would not have been my choice. He does not allow me to forget my place at all and sometimes when I do, He puts me back into slave space so quickly that my head spins. Love has not found a way of diminishing His power or authority. Rather, I think, it has increased His dominance over me.